wren is mightier than grief.

Spread peace in my world (read all 11 entries…)
This has been really difficult lately, 16 months ago

as I have felt under attack, and I feel hurt by it.

For some reason, a group of people at work have decided that I have a “special relationship” with one of the employees and am therefore showing favoritism toward her. Earlier this week, one employee shocked me by verbally attacking me over this.

The ironic thing is that it is hard to imagine anyone trying harder than I do to be fair and equitable in all matters. That kind of thing is such a big deal to me. And three of the people who are involved in this gossip have recently received promotions and raises without even asking solely through my efforts on their behalf.

It has taken a lot of effort to keep my feelings from infecting my actions. I think I have managed to do it, though.

It is times like these, when emotions run high, that it is especially helpful to have higher principles guiding your actions.



Comments:

feddle is getting back in the swing of things

Well said.

Thoughtful, mindful and kindly intended. Wren, I wish I worked with you!

I wish

I worked with you too! You seem like such a peaceful, benevolent and thoroughly decent person, and you don’t deserve to have to deal with these petty and vindictive colleagues. They really need to get a life.

lesleyegg needs a new job

I agree

about that higher principles thing. When we are stressed, have PMT, very tired, we ssay things we don’t mean … unless we watch ourselves.

wren is mightier than grief.

Do you think people say things

they don’t mean, or say things they DO mean but would ordinarily know better than to actually say?

lesleyegg needs a new job

When drunk

people do the latter – drink lowers the inhibitions.

When tired, people are a bit crazy – my daughter just bursts into tears for no reason – and they do say things they don’t mean, also with PMT, they say really irrational things which just pop into their heads out of nowhere. I think!

Jessy loves a clean slate and a fresh start. Happy 2010!

I don't think so.

I think people who gossip about your “special relationship” with whoever are mean and petty.

However, the person who verbally attacked you over it probably really does believe that some sort of inequitable behavior is going on.

If she believes this, then someone has been doing some heavy speculating about what you do or don’t do for this employee.

This is such petty stuff and hardly worth your time as a manager. But there is a lot of truth to the saying that “perception is everything.”

Have you considered having a meeting with the gripers and gossippers and getting it all out in the open?

wren is mightier than grief.

You know,

I did have a two different meetings with the gripers and gossipers about this very issue and thought the matter had been put to rest.

I did learn during those meetings that a lot of speculating was being done and assumptions were being made, and I set the record straight. It was pretty crazy what people were assuming was the truth.

Jessy loves a clean slate and a fresh start. Happy 2010!

Too weird.

You set the record straight, so I would think “over and done with.”

I truly admire you for being willing to set aside the personal issues and work for a promotion for these naysaying gossipmongers.

And for you to have meetings with them to refute their gossip? How much more open and fair can you be?

Grrrr on them.

Jessy loves a clean slate and a fresh start. Happy 2010!

And one more thing . . .

from my association with you here, I know you are fair and aboveboard with everyone. It’s you impeccable Virgo self shining through!

Wren,

your work colleagues sound like petty, childish, bullies.
I can’t believe what you’ve had to put up with ? In cases like these quite often insecurities are abound. They seem to be fueling each other’s, in a sad little gang.
They are probably totally intimidated by your profesionalism, kindness and intelligence.
I don’t doubt for one second you have treated them fairly,equally and more than decently.
I think kudos to you for doing so & that you do have your strong principle’s to guide you along.
Im sorry for the stress you’ve been thoughtlessly placed under.
(((hugs)))
x

(((hugs!)))

I know we’re only getting your side here; but I have read so much by you now that I can tell that you are kind, honest, well meaning, hard working, warm hearted.
I wish you didn’t have to put up with other people’s pathetic small minds, greed and pettiness and mobbing mentality!

I want those people to grow up and behave like responsible persons NOW.

Friede is snuggling with the dog

What everyone else said!

Also, it sounds like this is their stuff they are projecting onto you. Unfortunately, being in a leadership position often means you have a target on your forehead. And yet it is so important to have benevolent, kind, thoughtful folks in leadership roles everywhere and especially at work because it makes work soooo much better. I would love to work with you. You seem to really care that things go well and that folks get to grow and progress. I am grateful that the clinic I work in has a manager that has a very similar style and she really helps to create a very warm collegial environment. Unfortunately, she isn’t my boss.

I would love

to work with you, too! I don’t think your colleagues realize how lucky they are..

My cat is getting ready to pounce…


wren has gotten 23 cheers on this entry.

 

I want to:
43 Things Login