is the one thing i struggle most with with this goal.

for instance, my uncomfortable and uncanny stride into a household that thrives upon meat and family oriented activities. i need to leave; i want to leave; but he needs me here. and so here shall i stay. unhappy and unwilling, with a smile on my face.

As a solitary dependent island; as an introverted extrovert; as a humanist with the sole desire to approve and be approved, I feel my quest to being where I want and need to be will be as endless and tiresome as my lifelong quest for happiness. Although hardly boring and strictly unique, the quest has not shown me that “happiness” or “success” are a birthright like we so commonly deceive them to be. The quest is what gets us going, and the quest will continually deceive.