I’m raising my hand, waving it widely with excited flourishes at each end of the wave pendulum. I am wearing an echidna skin tricorn hat resplendent with rare Hyacinth Macaw feathers given to me as a gift from Chief Bahmloohoo of Rodigiegwah deep in the heart of the Belgium Congo. I also have on my pantaloons made from 50 Giant Goliath frog skins lovingly hand stitched together by the princess of Koomongootrapistan located in the west Indies as a coming of age present, a fine custom in her land. For a shirt, I have painted the Russellville Arkansas Tech University Wonder Boy’s Football logo on my bare skin. On my feet, I wear flip-flops made from snapping turtle shell, painted to look like faux sketchers. For socks, I have dried banana skins soaked in spider urine to preserve the soft moist quality that they had while still on the banana. I have no other undergarments, if you were wondering, and I would be most happy to prove this fact. So YES I am ready!