Here, enjoy some good music. Songs: Ohia’s `Farewell Transmission’ It’s so damn good, I thought that I’d put it in a goalpost, that’s how good it is.

(Neat trivia about Jason Molina of `Songs: Ohia’, he down-tunes his guitar to match his vocal range. Surely this must drive people nuts, who try to learn his songs. Like me, for instance.)

• crzy frog – Damn that crazy frog! He so CRAZEEE! He just a CRAZY-FROG!

• t-pain – it’s like t-mobile, but.. err.. ok, never mind it’s JUST like t-mobile. That or it’s a rapper whose gimmick is to punch himself in the nuts every few stanzas.

• stop comparing myself with people – ...and start comparing myself to ROBOTS! Or CROUTONS!

• Attend a shareholder mtg at Oracle Corp – Dude, I can save you the trouble. It’d be like this; “Blah, blah, I’m Larry Ellison, lookit my great big plane, my plane, my beautiful humpin’ plane, I am better than all of you, bring me the head of Steve Jobs on a silver platter, blah, blah, Larry, blah, plane.”

• Achieve my doubts – I originally read and pasted it, thinking it said, “achieve my doughnuts” and thought, “Oh man, my favorite of the day.” Alas, it was not to be so. That being said however, it DOES give me an idea for a goal..

• get serious with the guitar – Arrrr, yes. The musics. It is serious business. Not for fun at all. No fun. None! You cannot have.

• i move closely with my friends – and we call it DANCIN!

• Stop holding things in – I highly suggest you exempt your bladder from this, at the very least when in public.

• drink clean water – Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk… ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children’s ice cream.

• make people answerable to me – The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers? (Sorry, I’m not gonna put on one of those damned `Return of the Jedi’ Leia outfits to complete this joke, so you can just get that image right out of your mind.)

• Staple things to my bosses head if he doesn’t stop being complete control freak & taking the biscuit…..I want so called friends to start returning favors & begin to realise hoyself how much I actually put myself out to make them happy…i feel like im g – you had me at, “staple things to my bosses head..” Now come and kiss me with the passion of a thousand white-hot fiery suns, you sexy office supply mangler, you!

• Manifest million dollars – Just on the off-chance that this guy was onto something, I stood in the middle of my office, between both of my guest chairs and chanted, “Million dollars! Million dollars! Million dollars!” and the only goddamn thing that I was able to “manifest” was two curious co-workers and one disinterested but amused mail room girl who looked like she wanted to join in with the fun, but didn’t quite get the joke. Guess the joke’s on me, eh smart guy?

• Fall in love (the good kind of love) – As opposed to, “forbidden monkey-fucking; the love that exists between animal and man”, or “my gentleman caller; one woman’s story of her love affair with a public telephone booth.”

• Learn to run, and enjoy it – I suggest a career of purse-snatching? Good exercise AND it pays relatively well?

• stop displacing my anima and read more Jung – I TOTALLY agree, you need to stop displacing animals and shakin’ your jugs all around, everywhere. Sheesh, it’s like someone’s got a zoo-fetish or something. Oh, and cut out the 2nd year psyche student talk!

• hangin on to jj – ...and he’s drivin’ real fast, and he won’t slow down. Fuck you, jj! Let me the fuck outta this Geo Metro!!

• Make him smile…. Again – Perform dubious amounts of oral sex…. Again.

• grenn day – It’s like, “Green Day”, starring Grendel?

• Hold someone I love in front of a fire in a cabin in the winter – Sorry, but this immediately bring to my mind a picture of you doing that and screaming, “Now tell me where you hid the microfilm, you bastard, or it’s BACK INTO THE SNOW AGAIN! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? ANOTHER SNOW ENEMA??!!” (Christ, I’m weird.)

• One Bag in the Morning, One in the Evening Until I’m Done – Ooookay there, smokey mc smoke-smoke. Whatever floats your bong I guess.

• manafest – It’s like a goddamn festival! A goddamn festival OF BREAD!

• see the world like my dog does – It would be a lot like this, “Can I eat it? No, damn. Can I eat it? No, damn. Can I eat it? No, damn. Can I eat it? No, damn. Wait, can I pee on it? No, damn. Can I eat it? YES! WOOO! Wait, what does your butt smell like? SWEET! Can I eat it? No, damn.”