albootenhoff blessed

i want to get married (read all 6 entries…)
I think I am just going to give up... 14 months ago

Okay so really… my parents have screwed me up to no end. The second I get to the point in a relationship where they are trying to break down some of those walls or I think it is probably worth taking them down… Da da da da PHYSCO GIRLFRIEND! No I dont care if they have guys night… works for me I can do what I want (Other than Mommy Duties) hanging with other girls? Can I hang with my dude friends from high school? I am big on the phrase, “whats good for the goose is good for the gander.” No, on normal physco girlfriend issues I usually get thumbs up across the board. I like sex and go out of my way to have fun with it. So that is not a issue. Nope nothing like that. I become MEAN! I am just so mean sometimes I make myself go …WHAT? Where did that come from. Yup i pick fights to pick fights. Games. Okay so maybe that is a normal Physco Girlfriend thing. Something inside me and I am being seriouse goes… “wow! we have not fought in a while… hmmm?” Usually a hour later… Fight. To the point I have him storming out the door hanging up on me or in tears begging me to stop what I am doing. I grow cold agianst any kind of emotion and say shit like, Oh you think we are soulmates? No such thing. Of course I am not a complete bitch… no i blame it on me and the funny part is IT REALLY IS ME! So no matter how much my girlfriends think i have hit the jack pot. I still fight. That comes from constant fighting between my parents or my parents and nieghbors seeing bar fights all my life… Yup they fucked me up!



Comments:

RavenHoney is riding bikes!

on parents screwing you up

girlfriend, I am RIGHT THERE with you! I am fine in all the other areas of my life but when it comes to him, I loose it! Almost 7 years of ‘us’ down the toilet!

I’m learning to undo EVERYTHING that was done, the thought process has to change to make the actions change.

Look into some Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) – and a good professional to talk to – it’s working for me!

~Michelle


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