I abhor autumn. I loathe it because I know it leads to the season of death, oftentimes called winter. There is a reason why Dante made the bottom of hell frozen. It’s because that’s what winter is—it’s hell on earth.

I wish I could hibernate for all of winter. Maybe if it only lasted a month or two, I could actually endure it. But it drags on forever—until madness in all forms sets in. People who live in warm southern states or warm western states should be thanking their lucky stars every warm balmy day.