Negative: S didn’t take the news about the programs so well. Long story, but she’s going to look into them, but promises can’t be made (I don’t feel like explaining why—just the program wise, promises can’t be made). Anyways, she felt my mom (and I) stepped out of line by looking into this program. That it humiliated her and hurt her feelings that we ‘went behind her back’ and made calls and stuff about the prog.

Positive: I can understand where she’s coming from, but at the same time it makes me sad because we were just trying to help. I know my mom steps out of line a lot, and gets into peoples business too much, and I guess maybe I got too excited about something I hadn’t talked to her about first, but the fact was it hurt me that it hurt her. I was excited to find something I thought she didn’t know about. My mom was too! (afterall, she was who found it… well, me and her wise).

The point is, I don’t mind helping her, I don’t mind having to work my booty off to the point I can’t work anymore to take care of both of us, but if she’s gonna let me help take care of her, why can’t she accept someone else bigger then us to help her (and me!). I understand why she wasn’t accepted before, and why she wouldn’t be accepted again, but if she can possibly get accepted now, she could take care of the 13 week program, so she could start paying the court fees, so she could get her license, and start moving forward to get this closer to when the charge will be dropped off her record. Which all of this in return makes for a much happier S, a much safer S, a much mentally healthier S, the little assistance the program would allow for bills would help our financial situation, taking some more burden off both of us, and most importantly, help S, help me, and more then that help us move on from this low point.

The biggest positive in this is I understand where S is coming from (I had to ask my mom to please back off a bit and she doesn’t understand like I do, and so now I ended up hurting her again and I don’t know how to help make her better again….:( but oh well for now, I guess.) and I know that she wants to get this process moving, and is working on getting it—in her own way, in her own time. And I know her, and everything else will be ok in time.