Dora Diamond: I love self-loathing complaint rock you can dance to.

Dora Diamond: Do you have a girlfriend?
Paul Tannek: Ex-girlfriend. She lost weight, so she’s dating a lot more now.

Paul Tannek: Do you think you could turn it down just a skosh?
Chris: A skosh? What the hell is that?

Professor Edward Alcott: You know, I have this crazy philosophy that your grades should represent your grasp of the material and not your negotiating skills, which are amazing, by the way.

Noah: Oh, my God. Are you guys taking Psych?
Chris, Adam: Yes…
Noah: Did you ever look the book?
Chris, Adam: [Chris and Adam look at each other] No…
Noah: LOOK AT THIS RETARD!
[all laugh]