I’m 25 years old and right now I’m on medical recess after having had an operation to remove stones and my gallblader. This is the first operation I’ve had ever, and it’s clearly in consequence of many things I’ve had, done in my life aswell as genetic backround.

Thing is, it was all very different from what I had imagined:

1) The pain that drove me to the emergency room had been with me for 3 days. It was awful, and uncomfortable as hell, but I pictured that you go to emergency rooms with blood squirting out of you. Turns out all this drama shows on tv truly mess with our minds. Reality is intense and surely more dramatic, but less red and close up in my experience.

2) The ambience in the OR has nothing to do with what I imagined. There were at least 10 people around me at all times, measuring, talking about their vacations, etc. Nothing was at high speed, they were moving fast, but in control. And I was finally calmed because they had figured out what was wrong with me.

3) Things hanging out of your body are not as awful as I used to think. Certainly is not at all comfy, and you feel like Frankenstein, but you barely even notice (until they pull it out though, that does hurt)

4) Rehab is boring as imagined. I had a kidney infection (symptom of what I had now) before, and had to be layed back for 3 weeks, so I know a bit. But what messes up with your mind is the fact that you slowly start getting better, yet you need to be laying down and eating little for a long time. You totally feel useless and bored.

I have yet to know what the doctor says one week after being released from the hospital. Tomorrow I will know more. Once thing is for sure: I have to change my relationship with my body.

More later…