I’ve started watching sermons online from the church I plan on going back to, and it’s completely reenergized me. The only reason I stopped going was because I was having a problem being consistent in the past and I felt bad about that. It created some strange fear in me- kind of a cross between a fear of letting people down, and a fear of looking stupid- I suppose it was also a fear of looking insincere. I just felt so bad about myself when I would miss a week or two.

Anyways. I’ve let that fear keep me out of church long enough. I’m so inspired by the messages, I’m so encouraged- so challenged…I desperately need to get back to church.

My sleep schedule is horrendous, but I plan on changing it slowly over the remainder of the week. My plan is to go back Sunday. It’s going to take a lot of prayer to ignore the lies that the devil is telling me- the lies that say I’m not good enough to go back- that I’ll just keep screwing it up, that people will think badly of me…because they are just that…LIES.

This church is full of amazing people, people whom I’ve NEVER had a bad experience with. There is no shame there. I also firmly believe that they will help hold me accountable so I WON’T continue to screw up.

The only thing going against me here is fear put in me by the Enemy. I love the messages, love the people, love the worship…the ONLY challenge is fear that is founded on LIES. If I can remember that, I’ll be just fine :)