I’ve wanted to be a skater since I was probably eight years old. I mean, let’s face it, there’s no sport more badass and anti-authority than skateboarding. It’s awesome to watch, it has an awesome culture, it uses the urban landscape in ways that were never intended, it can be done wherever. But for whatever reason, I’m bloody awful at it. Maybe landed one kickflip in my life.

I can longboard like nobody’s business, but when my feet leave the ground, my confidence goes away. I think if I got over the fear of hurting myself, I’d get decent right quick, but I broke my arm falling off a board in sixth grade, and I’ve not had the confidence to start again since. Maybe I should learn drunk.