i think i’m going to have to tackle this by breaking it down a bit. break dowwn each of the behaviours that particularly affect me then try to tackle them one at a time. to be hones i don’t see me going through some kind of personality transformation that’s going result in me not being bpd. i reckon the best i can do is handle those most destructive behaviours a bit better. but it has to be one thing at a time. for now i’m going to try and concentrate on the anger part – not only is that really negative to me but has impact on others too, so i think i need to try and control that a bit too. to be hones i think i’ve went through a kind of natural progression with bpd. i think the fact that i recognised it in myself is testamont to that. also, since beginning of the year, well before i knew about the bpd i managed to radically improve my relationship with my mum, which had previously been terrible and really upsetting. i still haven’t argued with her this year, and i’m able to handle my dad and my brother for that matter a lot better, as in i don’t rise to them at all (reckon they’re both bpd too). all the internal turmoil though, the self hatred and grief and suicidal thoughts etc that has almost seemed to get worse – but i reckon that’s down to me having been totally straight for the past few years – i’m having to face it rather than just numb it. anyway, i’m going to leave this goal as a kind of top level thing and concentrate breaking it down a bit and trying to make some changes that way.
is anybody (if anybody with bpd is reading this) making progress with this goal? just wondering how others might be approaching it and if so with what kind of progress?