and just one day blew me out of the clean water into a puddle of mud… not only did I relapse that day, but I got caught doing it… got rearrested, sent to lockup, had bond set… and my mom she got me out – she knew I felt bad about using, but that day the day it happened… it felt like I was gonna die if I didn’t use. I never felt that before… I have cravings, but it never felt like I was going to die before…

SO I am back in court, on a 2nd charge of poss of narcotics, poss paraphenalia, and violation of probation… i am going to court every 3 weeks, getting notes from my doctor, and the relapse prevention counselor… and have to go through like 6 months of this – before they will determine if I should go to jail – or just get renewed probation.

Only Time Will Tell… I did it once, why is it so hard to do it again?