Back to school tomorrow. I am excited and a bit nervous. Last quarter _{my first} was really tough. But I think I am better prepared this time around. I keep comparing it all to boot camp. When I started I was full of attitude and out of shape. And spent the quarter struggling to keep up, constantly being pushed to my limits. It was good for me, but not fun. I want to say it was, but it was NOT. A lot of that had to do with getting used to being a student again. Getting used to the pace. Re-learning a lot of software. And learning a TON of new stuff on structure and assemblies _{very happy about this.}

Mostly I had completely lost touch with my own creative process that used to seem like second nature. I spent a LOT of time paralyzed in fear of failure. I hate admitting that, but it was by far the biggest hurtle of them all. My ego really took a good _{albeit healthy} knock going from the professional world back to school. I felt like a mumbling idiot most the time, not getting the accolades of a planetary do-gooder who had gotten a little too inflated with her little niche in the world. I discovered a monster chasm between by technical knowledge and my creative abilities. My left brain was hard on the right, criticizing its every move with my trusty arsenal of consultant thoughts.

But I pushed through and ended up with a project I was proud of _{though barely complete enough to present.} And I did keep up with work on the side _{though not as many hours as I had thought I could do} and my first online teaching gig with the BAC was pretty successful.

Now I am in much better shape. I feel like I have the muscles – and most importantly the TRUST in myself to thrive. I’ve been getting excited about the upcoming studio assignment and starting to stumble back upon that passion I was afraid I lost. Some early ideas for thesis or independent study brewin’.

Things I want to focus on this quarter…
- collect more source material
- start more abstract
- TAKE CHANCES!!! Just throw it out there. There is plenty of time to poke holes, readjust, and refine
- work in a way that can be easily shared at any stage, establish a fluid digital process
- keep a journal of all desk crits, come prepared with questions
- when I get stuck, built lots of models fast
- force my self to do perspectives early and often to keep focused on the human experience
- seek out mentorship

The big theme is strengthening my design process – in need of major reinforcements. That’s what I am here for.