OK. Check it: I looked up lucid dreaming online, because the internet tubes are my friends, and it turns out step one in lucid dreaming is remembering your dreams, which I guess makes sense.

So, I’ve started keeping a dream journal, which has lead me to the following realization: my dreams are weird; like, real weird.

Dudes with lobster pincers for hands, dead bodies buried in my kitchen. Hillary Clinton palling around w/me; yeah, disturbing, no?

The short of it is: I’ve got to learn to lucid dream if for no other reason than too keep Hilary Clinton out of my head! Its a matter of survival, at this point.