Lately, I have been telling my 2.5 year old nanny boy (with whom I have worked since he was 4 months old) that I love him. Sometimes I say, “Guess what, Jack, I love you.” Sometimes I tell him that I want him to know that I love him. Sometimes I give him a hug/kiss and say I love you. It has been hard to break away from my parents’ way of verbally expressing love and have definitely found myself naturally telling Jack I love him the same way they (perhaps somewhat ineffectively) tried to verbally communicate their love. (And don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that my parents love me…but sometimes it doesn’t necessarily FEEL like it.)

Sometimes Jack just smiles in response when I tell him I love him. Sometimes he says “yeah” in a funny, deep, sage-like wise old way. Sometimes he says “I love you, Ni-Ni.” I also sing a made-up song that goes “Jackson, Jackson, too, I love you,” and “Maddie, Maddie-Roo, I love you,” (to his little sister). Today I asked him if Ni-Ni loves him a lot or a little and he said “a lot.”

That’s my story. I still don’t tell my family I love them, but I am making more of an effort to show them that I do. And at the end of the day, I put more stock in actions than words on their own, but I feel like words + actions together is an amazing, comprehensive way to communicate my love.