that doesn’t feel like progress.
See, now that I’m older and “wiser” I know two things.
1) This too shall pass…
2) Reaching for crutches WON’T make me feel better.
And I suppose that I should take comfort in that. But I don’t and I’m not. I feel like I’m caught in this limbo, like I talked about, in knowing that I will eventually feel better, but not knowing how to get there. That hurting myself by drinking myself stupid, spending money, sleeping around or any variation thereof might make me feel better temporarily because ANYTHING is better than this pit, that afterwards I’ll just regret it. So I’m stopping myself from being stupid, for now, for as long as I can.
I think I figured out what’s really upsetting me about this whole divorce thing. I don’t talk to my parents much. I don’t like my parents much, so it’s not their splitting up so much that bothers me. It’s shattering an illusion. It’s the thought that nothing is forever. It’s knowing that everyone leaves, that I’ll always be alone. Right there, that fear is what is bothering me. And I’ll have to find a way to work through that fear.
EDIT: Found this excellent article that addresses the issues I was talking about.
1. Recall past triumphs.
You’ll realize there were quite a few times when you let life’s difficulties temporarily get you down, but that you were eventually able to surmount them.
2. Remind yourself that life is cyclical.
Even if you are at the bottom, you cannot stay there forever. [...]
Remember—the only thing permanent is change, and a new day is coming.
3. Keep a goal for the future in mind.
Have something you want to achieve and work towards it.
4. Cultivate your spirituality.
When you believe that “God’s will will never take you where God’s grace cannot protect you,” it can be extraordinarily reassuring.
5. Seek out role models who are in the public eye.
Also, ask people you know how they were able to bounce back from difficult situations in their lives.
