I decided I am going on exchange in the fall. It will make my life continue as a series of fragments but I think I just have to come to terms with that, because it seems clear that is what I want.

It costs a pretty ridiculous amount of money to go where I want to go (almost 20,000 dollars). So I might not go to my first choice, but there are other programs and I am just so antsy I will go almost anywhere (but by no means anywhere). I think it will be a lot of work to actually go but I really want it, so I’m going to work at it.

And then come back and see what happens..