There is an emptiness inside of me that I’ve never been able to name. My entire life I’ve criticized organized religions…their dogmas, rote rituals, and exclusivity have always repulsed me.

That said, I’ve met people from different faiths that embody the essence I wish to achieve. In one way I am jealous of the formal methods of “communication” that are found in the rituals of certain religions… and I’ve even attempted to adopt Christianity to have a certain “method”, but it didn’t work.

So I talk to my “god”... I try not to simply ask for things, but to find the strength inside of myself to achieve them instead. “Prayer” seems too formal and/or strong a word for what I do, but it’s the only appropriate one I can think of.

I’m so tired of being lost, of feeling my spirit has been left un-cared for. The fear that I’ve never connected with myself and the world in this fundamental way is at the heart of my sadness.

So I try to pray for connection, for understanding…for fulfillment. I pray someday I will live that way.

Amen