My Man and I have been dating for a year and a half now. We’ve been exclusive since June. I usually do not let him stay the night when my son is here, though I made two exceptions: 1. New Year’s Eve, I didn’t want him on the road with all the drunks (he has a 30 minute drive home on a dangerous road), and 2. Very recently, my son had some friends over and a lot was going on until very late in the night. My bf was here, too, helping with feeding boys and setting up video games and such. The boys were very involved with each other, and it was very late, and we just went to bed upstairs and, yes, slept.

My son says he knows D. stays over and that he sleeps in my room, so what is the difference if D. stays over when he’s there or not? (Those are his words.)

Sometimes I think we’ve been together long enough that it should be something we can start easing into, and other times I do worry about the impact on my son. My parents divorced when I was young and they were much more quick and open about new boyfriends/girlfriends staying the night. (I’m not talking revolving door, it was people that they were going to be dating for at least a few months or even a few years.) I know I would get attached to their boyfriends/girlfriends, and then they would be gone. I’ve been very clear with my son that D. and I care about each other a lot, that he is a very good person, and that we are committed to trying to make this a relationship that works; but also that there are no guarantees in any relationship, and there may come a point when it doesn’t work and we will no longer be together.

He’s also old enough, too, to know about the “private” aspects of an adult relationship. My personal opinion for me (not for you, Dear Readers…if there are any of you left after this long ramble) is that I don’t feel the need to wait until marriage for intimacy (I was already married for a very long time, so I’m not rushing back into it now), but I also am not into casual sex. For me, that comes with a relationship that appears that it will be around for a while at least. He knows that D. and I dated for several months before the first time he stayed over. (This was all part of several conversations my son and I have had, some initiated by him and some by me. I try to answer his questions without sharing too much that is beyond his maturity level.)

Hmmmmm, that’s a very long and convoluted post. Not sure I’m even looking for advice, really. Just typing thoughts that have been rolling around in my head…