I have a colleague, who is slowly driving me crazy, as much as I’ve tried to understand her and let her be the way she is. The thing is, ever since I started at my current job, she’s been there, telling me how to do things, “guiding” me, as she probably thinks, and at first I thought it was fun. Not that I needed her to tell me how to do my job but I thought “well, let her get her way if it makes her happy” and I mostly just let her babble without paying much attention. Maybe that’s where I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have let her get the feeling I actually liked getting her advice. Because now she won’t stop. And it seems, judging by today, she thinks she can tell me anything and expects me to just listen and accept.

I haven’t felt such pure, burning rage towards a single person in a very very long time than I did today, I knew I still had it in me, the ability to feel hatred but the intensity surprised me completely. That’s probably part of the reason why I didn’t say something nasty to her, I know I could have insulted her very badly. But I don’t want to cause unnecessary schism at my workplace, so I didn’t say anything. And for the whole evening I’ve been trying to let go of the anger, disappointment and hurt, and I’ve partly succeeded. But I’m still clinging on to these feelings and it’s suppressing me. To let go of it is the only way to internal peace. I wish it was a tad easier, though. But I’ll get there, without hardships this would be too easy.