Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be like someone else. “That really pretty girl in my class”, “that perfect celebrity”, “that shiny supermodel”, I’ve never actually been content about who I am.
I’ve had a good deal of experience’s in my life, living in a foreign country and learning another language, moving to a number of different schools and having to settle in completely different environments and a few negative ones such as being bullied for a number of years, struggling to deal with an eating disorder, etc… but I have learned from and overcome all of them and in a way they have made me a better and stronger person. I’m now 15 and about to embark the biggest journey of my life – GCSE’s, further education and then on to a career. My goals are set and most people are raving about my academic achievements. I’m ready to follow the path of becoming a great and successful individual.
Only, there’s one thing missing. I have a caring and loving family, I don’t have any colossal problems to stress me out and I have a very wide circle of friends; with some particularly close ones to share my feelings with. But I don’t know who I am. This may well be a question that some (particularly older people) would answer with “you’ll learn in time” but I want to know now! How can I go on to be this successful individual if I don’t even know who the person staring at me in the mirror is? This isn’t just a question of curiosity but a necessity! It’s eating away at me and I need to know the answer.
I recently came out of what some people would describe as a “gothic” phase, and have completely changed the way I dress. But I never feel like I’m actually being me. Afterall, the way we dress is supposed to reflect our personality. But how can I reflect my personality when I don’t know what it’s like?! How do I discover who I really am?
Comments:
tdhilltx21 is getting it going!!!
Just Be Yourself
Sounds like you’ve had a rather ‘happy’ life so just be comfortable in that fact. You don’t really have to be “I am” anybody. This sounds crazy since one of my 43things is “learning who ‘I am’” but I have had a rather unhappy and dissatisfied life.
If you are happy with your friends, family, achievements, goals in life, expectations that you will succeed, etc., then who you are is “Azura93”. Don’t label your self as anything or anyone, just be the person you are (if you are happy with that person) and if not, become the person you want to be as defined by how you interact with the world around you.
u soooooo remind me of me
im now 17
ive been to 4 countries
moved on like a thousand schools
know 4 languages
have very very different types of friends
sometimes i was very popular
other times i was bulleyed
tried all sorts of outfits
from classic to goth to street to just casual
but i still dunno who i really am
im studyin medicine right now
and i don’t even know if itll be the right career for me
and i still wanna know the PURPOSE i exist for
it sometimes got me into depression
as everyone around me believes i was made for something great
i feel that too sometimes
yet i stilldunno what this thing is
i think i have a different style in life generally
but that doesnt seem to define who i am
i just dont wanna be cryin on my 20th birthday
still tryina know who i am or wut was i meant to achieve
When I was your age I was exactly the same, I had no idea what I wanted to do. Actually that’s not entirely true, because I knew that I wanted to prove myself to everyone. But that was about it.
Believe it or not your GCSEs are not actually that important – the most important thing will be your College education. Shame on the British secondary schooling system for putting so many young pupils under so much stress for something so unimportant, and shame on them for taking the burden of academic performance from the teacher and placing it squarely on the pupil. In my opinion the grades of a student are merely a reflection of the quality of teaching and the school’s ability to engage the pupil.
But I digress. :P
But let me warn you here that while the education system, particularly higher education, is full of rhetoric about how the learning will lead to good jobs, the reality of the situation is that there is a big gap between education, qualifications, and the employment market. I’m a qualified welder. Am I employed as a welder now? No, I’m waiting tables, plating up food, cooking raw ingredients, etc. for just above minimum wage. That’s not for lack of trying, either.
I’m 22 and I’m only just starting to figure out what I want to do. I want to either be a truck driver, a miner, a truck driver for a mining firm (:D!) or work with fish/aquatics. I’ve also only just recently figured out that I am a “manly man”, and that my character centres around the desire to own a pickup truck, and having role models like Clint Eastwood and Johnny Cash.
I know you want to know now, but the truth is you can’t force it. God knows I’ve tried. But whatever you do, never try to be someone you’re not. Resist the temptation to impress others. Be good at what you do, try to do what you love doing and what interests you,
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