Geez, that’s rough.

How can somebody who’s trying as hard as they can be such a terrible person?

The good thing is, if you’re really convinced that you are a total failure, and can accept that as just your ground state, then at least you don’t have to try so hard anymore to be perfect. You know you aren’t going to make it, so you may as well figure out what you are capable of doing from your lowly starting point.

I hope someday you’ll be able to appreciate whatever little good things you ARE capable of doing, even if they aren’t the stellar things you WISHED you were doing. Every little bit does help, you know.