...I love to interact behind the computer; who knows why I freeze when I’m with real people.
I forced myself to make new friends by finding a group of unschoolers, it helped that they are such sweet nonjudgmental bunch.
I finally decided to approach some moms at the open gym where my kids go, (it is a class just for homeschoolers), something made me feel they were unschoolers because of the way they were interacting with their kids.
I didn’t feel anxious until half way into the conversation, when everyone else started talking among themselves and I start to drift to the edge and get lost in the sea of words, by then I was out in my own thoughts.
I keep trying to be more a part of the group, and they are very welcoming, but I run out of words so easily, I say things that come out totally wrong when I mean them differently. I always feel like I’m trying to mount on the conversation train running beside it, sometimes I catch the handle and climb only to fall out again.
My brain is always having a conversation with me, I wish I could quiet it to listen to others on demand. And you know sometimes it is not even making sense when it talks (the brain) , it is like …uuu look at the pretty patterns on the dress, one two , three birds and a line across, I wonder how they weaved it…maybe they could have added blue, my favorite color…bla bla blaaa all while the other moms are talking about shopping for vegetables or kids …who knows I couldn’t listen!!!