Sounds like if there is something wrong they are just not ready to talk about it and they use the mean words to push you away. Try not to take it personally because I’m sure it wasn’t meant that way. Hopefully when the person mulls this over they will realize you were just trying to be kind.

So you’re not the only one. He gets mad when I try to get him to say what is wrong, but then later ends up telling me anyway.

He says he doesn’t like saying what’s wrong because he doesn’t want to worry me with his problems.

Try giving it a couple of hours. Change the subject to happy things, and if they’re still upset, try asking again.

I know it hurts, but it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them, so try not to take it too personally.