2009 has not been my best year. Ever since January, I have been trying to sort out the conflicting feelings in my heart. My trust was broken by the person I cared about most in the world and I was becoming bitter. To make matters worse, his patience was wearing out and I could feel it. We’re over now, but it was a very long, and drawn out process which involved possible love intersts on either side complicating things and a lot of harsh words. In the end, we decided we just had to let eachother go; not because we didn’t love eachother but because so much had happened. There was just no getting over it. Trust is necessary in a relationship and he lost mine a long time ago.

Now people keep saying “Do what makes you happy.” It’s not easy because I feel like people always want something from me and I just want a friend. Also, I’ve noticed that doing what makes me happy doesn’t always go over well with everyone else. It’s not easy for me to be happy when I know the people I care about aren’t. Today I need to focus and find a way. I’m just going to have to work harder.