It’s been a while since I wrote anything here.
I haven’t known what to say.

Everything is always so negative, and when faced with sounding more down and morbid, I just keep to myself and say nothing. (What’s that about if you can’t say anything nice? Well, for me, it’s “you’ve already bitched and moaned about that, you can’t keep bitching and moaning about the same dang thing!”)

I finished the radiation “therapy” and I’ve been taking care of my skin and dealing with the minor pains that come with it. The fatigue from the radiation is still with me too, and I begin to wonder when I’ll ever (if ever) feel “normal” again.

I’m in the “now what” phase.

Here’s now what—I have plans to return to school in a month.
I plan on staying on leave from my work, so I can come back and work in August while on break. Then I will likely quit and return for the full blown Master’s program (a year behind, but better late than never, I guess.)

I don’t know when I should cross this goal off.
Cancer will be (sadly) part of my life forever now.
Even more than it was before.

I have to start taking Tamoxifen for five years now, a drug that will suppress the estrogen in my body and put me in chemically induced menopause. Not happy about that, but I don’t know what else to do—risk a recurrence?

Life is tough sometimes. You play the cards you’re dealt.
And that’s that.