It was my birthday yesterday. Someone I considered to be my close friend didn’t call me. It upset me. I cried-which is silly because it is only a birthday. I just went to the gym. I want to go buy a huge bag of pastries and then eat them all. I want to eat pastries-alernating savory and sweet. I want to eat a huge bag of them because I feel so sad and lonely. Eating a big bag of pastry isn’t going to make me less lonely. It is only going to make me feel fat and disappointed in myself. I guess I could sit here and cry for a bit. That might help. A friend of mine says, “Cry out the poison,” and I like that. I’m hoping I can cry out the poison of self hatred a little. At least I’m not feeding the poison by eating 10,000 calories of butter and flour.