drop, push or launch gummy bears from 43 high places (read all 2 entries…)

Gummy eugenics. 7 months ago

It’s come to my attention that a significant number of gummy bears have deficiencies and abnormalities. Whether suffering from a common problem like color blindness or the far rarer velocardiofacial syndrome, several gummies in each package are substandard. This cannot be allowed to continue. I’ve taken it upon myself to improve the gummy gene pool by ensuring these imperfect specimens are not allowed to breed.

The forty-three worse offenders have been selected. Each one will be photographed individually to provide evidence of his or her failings before being swiftly dispatched.

All remaining gummies thank them, in advance, for their sacrifice.

May 07, 11:04AM PDT | 38 cheers

Comments:

A Staggering Rat of Heartbreaking Something or Other "I musta made a wrong toin at Al-buh-KOY-kee"

Substandard or not,

they look like breakfast to me.

May 07, 11:30AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Simon

Their top quality brothers and sisters…

… were breakfast for me.

Which begs the question – who received more humane treatment? It is better to suffer the exhilaration of a few seconds of free fall followed by a very sudden stop, or to be masticated, swallowed and dissolved by stomach acids?

May 08, 03:20AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

A Staggering Rat of Heartbreaking Something or Other "I musta made a wrong toin at Al-buh-KOY-kee"

I am a proponent of neither

self-sacrifice nor nobility. I say you melt them all down and pour them into one of those honey-bear plastic jars and mold a new breed entirely. Giants in the earth, Simon.

May 08, 07:31AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 4 cheers

verrin ~ Carpe Ricardo!

Viktor Frankenstein

had nothing on you, Rat.

^{It’s alive! Alive!}

May 08, 07:40AM PDT | Respond to this 3 cheers

tangerine_now has NO attention span

Awe.

May 07, 12:27PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

tangerine_now has NO attention span

^{You fascist bastard!}

May 07, 12:28PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

Simon

Yes?

May 08, 03:21AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

tangerine_now has NO attention span

^{oh… nothing.}

May 08, 03:39AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Simon

Okay. ;)

May 08, 04:29AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

tangerine_now has NO attention span

^ass!

May 08, 04:32AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Untitled - Simon

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

Whenever

I’m at the Jelly Belly factory I always buy a bag of the genetically-deficient beans in their gift shop. But, of course, a mutant jelly bean is not as hideous as a deformed bear. :)

May 07, 08:02PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

~ Julie ~ yup....

Did you know

that the Jelly Belly Factory is less than a 1/4 mile from my place?

May 07, 08:55PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 6 cheers

Simon

I knew that!

What do I win?

May 08, 04:30AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

~ Julie ~ yup....

Do you

like said Jelly Bellys?

May 08, 05:32AM PDT | Respond to this

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

No!

I had no idea there was a factory there – the only one I’ve ever been to is the one in Fairfield, CA. They have factory tours, huge Jelly Belly mosaics of all kinds of people and things, and even a little restaurant where you can get things like a jelly-bean-shaped pizza. When I’m there I feel like – well, a kid in a candy store! :)

May 08, 06:59AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

~ Julie ~ yup....

hehee

I think its more like a warehouse that gives tours and has the store to buy the mishaps.
Let me know I’ll send you some or just another reason for you to come up here.

May 08, 07:01AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

You know

I’m always looking for ~~excuses~~ reasons to go up there! :D

Love your avatar, btw!

May 08, 07:07AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Summerfest is another - ~ Julie ~

Oh! - DoubleN

Well - ~ Julie ~

I'm going to - DoubleN

Simon

They sell the sub-standards?

Given Jelly Belly’s reputation for being the finest in the world I’m surprised they even admit to producing failures.

Ever thought of a goal involving jelly beans and mass destruction? ;)

May 08, 04:42AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

They

call them Belly Flops, and you don’t get to pick flavors – they’re just all thrown in together.

And no – I couldn’t bear to harm the little darlings! Even the Special Needs ones. :)

May 08, 07:02AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

Simon

That's like Russian roulette.

You hope to bite down on a half-decent flavor, then you discover your chewing one of the Harry Potter special editions and your mouth fills with the taste of snot.

LOL @ Special Needs jelly beans.

May 08, 10:20AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

So true.

Are you sure you’ve never had a bag of Belly Flops? :) They actually make flavors like Vomit and Pencil Shavings, ya know….

May 08, 11:28AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

Jessy is light of heart

Belly flops!

Too cute. But “special needs” is funnier! ;)

Jun 14, 08:39AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

TattooedVWGirl is getting back on track.

You dork! :P

May 07, 08:24PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

~ Julie ~ yup....

LMFAO!!

I lovey you!

You soooo rock!!!

May 07, 08:51PM PDT | Respond to this

Simon

Yup,

I am. :P

May 08, 04:31AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

~ Julie ~ yup....

I swear

I didn’t tell her a thing!

May 07, 08:52PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Simon

That's good.

She’ll figure it out for herself soon enough.

May 08, 04:44AM PDT | Respond to this 2 cheers

nicolasc is Grinchy... very, very Grinchy. But she dons a hat and plays Santa for Sonny Lou Who anyway.

I agree with what tangerine_now said.

Picking and choosing who gets to stay in the gene pool and who does not is unethical. Since you’re such a proponent of donating one’s body to science, have you bothered to poll your gummy bears and see if there are any who share your sentiment and might be willing volunteers for this scientific cause?

May 07, 09:17PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 4 cheers

tangerine_now has NO attention span

^Awe.

May 08, 03:40AM PDT | Respond to this

Simon

Okay, okay, I'll give them a choice.

Gummies! Listen up! All those of you who don’t relish the thought of being hurled to your death from a great height should leave the room now. Anyone remaining will be considered a volunteer.

Well, what do you know? All the gummies without heads didn’t hear my generous offer, the ones without legs couldn’t walk to the exit, and those without hands couldn’t open the door to get out, leaving me with forty-three willing volunteers.

Result!

May 08, 04:51AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 6 cheers

nicolasc is Grinchy... very, very Grinchy. But she dons a hat and plays Santa for Sonny Lou Who anyway.

_{Pure evil…}

May 08, 06:43AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Simon

_{You know it.}

May 08, 10:26AM PDT | Respond to this

Kalibebti is taking celestial incendiaries into her own hands.

oh. ouch. now you've made me imagine

a Gummi Bear Bodyworlds Exhibit.

o.O

May 08, 03:37PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

Btw,

I’ve noticed a huge percentage of animal crackers have genetic anomolies, too. It seems mutation is running rampant in the carb world …

May 08, 07:05AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Simon

The situation must be addressed.

As animal crackers aren’t available in this backward country where I live, the duty falls to you.

May 08, 10:17AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

You're kidding!

They’re kind of a staple of childhood here.

May 08, 11:22AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

A Staggering Rat of Heartbreaking Something or Other "I musta made a wrong toin at Al-buh-KOY-kee"

Of mythic proportion!

Legendary!
(Thinking of getting some today.)

May 08, 12:37PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

DoubleN is working on surviving till year's end

Truly!

They even live in the vending machine across the street, nestled amongst the candy bars and chips. Hmmmmm…. :)

The packaging lacks the character of the classic, old-school Barnum’s Animal Crackers, though.

May 08, 12:58PM PDT | Respond to this

Kalibebti is taking celestial incendiaries into her own hands.

you DON'T

have animal crackers there??

So that’s the source of your faint air of melancholy.

I guess you toffs would have to call them “animal biscuits” anyway, and that would just be wrong.

May 08, 03:41PM PDT | Respond to this 2 cheers

(This comment was deleted.)

May 28, 12:40PM PDT

Tiarra Noel boring her life away.

This is kind of an amazing goal.

I’m a little jealous that I didn’t come up with this, not gonna lie.

Jun 08, 01:37PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Simon

You like this goal?

So join us – the more the merrier. You could take a quick trip up I-5 and be the first person to throw a gummy bear from the top of the Space Needle.

btw, I can’t take credit for inventing the goal. That honor falls to Evenstar42, despite what 43T thinks.

Jun 11, 07:58AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

evenstar42 Merry Christmas all :o)

It was a joint venture. :o)

Y’know, I really should start posting some of ours. I’ve long since forgotten what order they’re supposed to be in _which, but I do have all the photos somewhere.

Jun 11, 08:35AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Simon

Guinness was first,

after that I haven’t a notion.

Jun 11, 10:49AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

(This comment was deleted.)

Jun 11, 05:31PM PDT

Soon, Artemis, soon. - Simon

A hat? - Artemis, The One With Nature

Yeah, a hat. - Simon

Ok. - Artemis, The One With Nature

Simon

btw, hon,

did I send you the Cheddar photos?

Jun 11, 10:50AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

evenstar42 Merry Christmas all :o)

Oh, have you got them?! That would explain why I couldn’t find them :-p I saw Rat’s comment above about pouring gummis into a mold, and wanted to post a picture of George :o)

Jun 11, 03:55PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

Yup, I have them, - Simon

(This comment was deleted.)

Jun 11, 05:29PM PDT

I don't do cheese. - Simon

I knew - Artemis, The One With Nature

I know you know… - Simon

You know, Simon... - Enore

I hope you're right. - Simon

That's easy...it's the guy with the buggy out eyes... - Enore

LOL! - Simon

By the way... - Enore