EDIT:This was the comment that the user “fateaccompli”, who recently deleted her account, left in response to what I wrote above. I thought what she wrote (like most anything she wrote) was intriguing, and I didn’t want to see it disappear. Feel free to comment if it seems interesting…

premise in After Life reminded me of Camus’ The Stranger

remember the discussion he has with the priest who has come in to hear his last confession, etc? Meursault tells the priest that he doesn’t, in effect, care about any other kind of life but the one he has lived, and if he had the choice, he’d live his exact same life over and over for all eternity.

I even once had a dream that, well it was more like Groundhog Day, my family and I were stuck in the same day for all eternity. and after initially being upsetting and a bit scary _{what the hell’s going on here?}, it became a peaceful and happy thing, to always know what to expect etc.

but I have been thinking about that dream for a long time _{it was several years ago} and I worry about the truth in “repetition is hell”.

was it Camus? or Nietzsche? or hmmm… something about, what if your afterlife was reliving your present life for all eternity? if you can find peace/joy in your life, then you will experience this as heaven. if not, you will experience it as hell. and really, it’s up to you (and how you live now).

I had never thought about any of this in conjunction with reincarnation before, though. I thought of it more as a clean slate, a sort of innocence. I guess that’s just gloss, however. or maybe, after you’ve lost your memories, you are innocent and a bit clueless. it’s contemplating such a possible loss that unnerves and disorients you. _{not that being born as a different person or creature wouldn’t be disorienting in and of itself.} actually, maybe having previous memories would make your “new” life seem all that more unnatural and upsetting?

hmmm…

there’s absolutely no guarantee that you’ll end up being the “same” you even if you have the same nature, reincarnated. your circumstances will be different, etc.

even if you _{the right now you, not a reincarnation} had been born in a different country or in a different time period, you wouldn’t be the you you are now. close, maybe. maybe not all that close at all.

I was speculating once about how maybe your _{as in, anyone’s} purpose in life is to realize who you are _{a simple yet monumental task} , but you are always changing _{you always have the possibility of changing, in some small or big way, for better or worse or just different} . the only time you stop changing is when you die, and even then that’s just because “you” are in the past; it’s your history or your lifetime that cannot change any more now. _{if your soul etc continues on in another venue, then that, which is really “you”, might go on changing, and so you might be different than you were in life, which is a very odd thought.}

but then again, in What Dreams May Come , Robin Williams’ character and his wife willingly leave heaven to be born again and live their lives and come to know themselves and find each other again, with complete confidence that it will happen, that it is fated to happen, even though they will not be the same exact people in the same circumstances as before. with complete confidence and joy.

I always thought that was the most brilliant and bewildering thought of the whole movie.

thanks for the thoughtful comment, Dan. we always start some interesting discussions :D

I have many thoughts on spirituality and the afterlife. Some of what I think might seem offensive or sacreligious to some people. But it comforts me to a depth that no religious teaching I ever recieved did.

The trouble with discussing such matters is that you have to find out what your assumptions are, and where your common beliefs lie before you can move forward. For example, you mentioned a fear of death. That is not something I relate to. I am not afraid of dying at all. I try to stay alive and healthy because I have work to do and children to care for, but I have no investment in protecting or maintaining any sort of eternal sameness in myself. I rather value change.

I am not the same person I was when I was four. I have different tastes now, different knowledge, different beliefs, and I don’t look much the same either. Yet I still see myself as “me”. I still remember being four, and having feelings and experiences which have colored who I am today. So which is it? Am I still that same girl, or am I someone else now? Should I regret that change has happened? Should I have feared that change would happen? What about the future? Should I fear that changes are still bound to happen to me with every passing decade?

I hope I do not sound rude. These are not just rhetorical questions. They are to help me establish what you mean when you say you have a fear of death, and a fear of taking on a new life through reincarnation. I do not understand how those concepts are different to you than other life changes.