I have the same problem and have had it for a very long time. And I too want to stop it. One of the things that I had to come to grips with was my confidence in myself. No matter how successful I’ve been at a given endeavor, the moment I’m questioned I get defensive. It is as if I’m not sure I know what I’m doing.

The first thing i would suggest is for you to do an inventory of all the important things you do well and tell yourself how good you are at it everyday! When someone questions, challenge, or declare you don’t know what you’re doing--simply ask them to clarify their position. The point here is to keep the focus on the question at hand not your competence. The moment you become defensive—you put “you” into question!

I hope this helps. This is what I’m doing right now to overcome this problem.

...are you a nurse yet?

and hows the defensiveness?

james