snowleopard

be myself and like myself (read all 9 entries…)
the school reunion 6 months ago

is on Saturday, and I won’t bore you with the details of the further bossy emails I’ve received from the person organising it…

Knowing this is coming up has caused me to reflect more than usual on how my life has proceeded in the 20 years since I left the place. I went there at the age of 7 and left at 16 and went to a different school in the sixth form. In the pre-internet age, I managed to lose touch with everyone quite quickly, especially when we all dispersed to go to university. But I did have some friends there and it would be nice to see them again.

I spent my 20s acquiring degrees and dabbling in social policy research in an effort to avoid the inevitable. At 29 I decided this was not the life for me and it was time to acknowledge my inner spreadsheet wonk and go through three years of hell accountancy training to get to where I wanted to be, namely using my aptitude for numbers to work for a charity which does good things in the local community.

As for the rest of my life, it turns out that I’m pretty happy with that too. Marriage and kids were never high on my agenda, but I’ve had a sort-of-sometimes relationship with a lovely bloke for the past 18 years even if we haven’t actually managed to commit to each other ;)

I have a reasonably well-paid and secure job and I practically own my own flat in central London, even if it’s the size of a postage stamp. I don’t have any major responsibilities and I enjoy the freedom that brings. And although I’d like to be thinner (wouldn’t we all) I don’t have any health problems – from the bossy emails it appears that at least one erstwhile classmate is no longer with us and another one is paralysed. Bloody hell.

I’m nervous as hell about Saturday but at least I’m going into it feeling that my life is the one I want to be leading and that I’ve stayed true to my values. I need to remember that life is not a competition and that there’s no need to be jealous of those who have become City lawyers or bankers, or have a husband and 2.4 kids, because that’s not what I want.

Jun 01, 01:42PM PDT | 16 cheers


Comments:

consequent

Good for you

for being honest about where you are and what you want. At 21, and in a constantly competitive environment, one of the things I have really struggled with is getting caught up in the snowball of all the things I’m “meant” to be doing in order to create the life I’m supposed to want. I’ve had a few realisations lately which have allowed me to see that’s it’s ok to break away from expectations.

That was very philosophical for a Tuesday morning!

Jun 01, 01:54PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

snowleopard

Tuesday morning

is as good a time to be philosophical as any she says, writing on Monday evening ;)

It’s definitely easy to get caught up in the rat race. At your age the only thing that mattered to me was exam results, and I couldn’t work out what else to do so I just kept taking exams ;) I hope it doesn’t take you as long to figure out for yourself what sort of life you want – you already seem to be making major strides!

I was one of the “high flyers” at school and suspect everyone will remember me for being a total nerd and winning the school prize every year, so I suppose I feel the pressure to justify what I’ve done since then. But I’ll have to keep quiet about my proudest achievement, namely the creation of the Breakfast Martini Gang, because I don’t want anyone googling and finding me here ;)

Jun 01, 02:07PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 5 cheers

consequent

I think I’ll have those same feeling come my high school reunion. I suppose at the end of the day, though, we all measure “success” in very different ways. As long as you are settled in yourself and your life, you shouldn’t have to justify anything!

I have been meaning to ask about the origins of the Breakfast Martini Gang, especially after seeing the recent posts from you and Moose. What is it?

Jun 03, 02:52AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

snowleopard

What is the Breakfast Martini Gang?

It’s a gang that gets together from time to time to drink breakfast martinis! ;)

We’ve had three International Gatherings (IGOTBMGs) so far attended by Moose, Stine, Zanna, Silvie, Cate and Lesley. I should admit that after the last one held at my place at Easter, a number of the participants had trouble getting home. I refuse to accept any responsibility for this whatsoever ;)

Jun 03, 12:10PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

consequent

Genius!

All this time, I’ve been harbouring suspicions that you had them for breakfast! Although, come to think of it, that wouldn’t sit well with your FTF list.

They sound absolutely delicious. I am inspired to make some! They also sound quite potent. ;)

Jun 04, 12:13AM PDT | Respond to this 2 cheers

{Turandot} wonders "what about the view?"

school reunion

brrr

no chance they’ll ever get me again
those bastard catholic fascists!

Jun 01, 02:27PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 6 cheers

wren is mightier than grief.

heh

This is a classic Turandot comment!

Jun 01, 03:07PM PDT | Respond to this 3 cheers

Zanna Campanula bookcart lady

wish i was a supercheerer, T

you’d definitely get one for this!

Jun 02, 10:21AM PDT | Respond to this 3 cheers

Cloudberry is a highly skilled migrant.

how many people

can honestly say they like where they are in life? Go SL!

I’m sure there will be a lot of self-selection in who turns up for your reunion – probably a mix of those who are really happy and those who have something they want to show off, hopefully more of the former than the latter.

I can’t imagine the truly unhappy will bother, much. Though at the one alumni thing I ever went to I did see one of those people. Very sad.

All that said, don’t minimize the brilliance of your role in establishing the Breakfast Martini Gang! If they can’t appreciate that, fuck ‘em.

Jun 01, 05:30PM PDT | Respond to this 3 cheers

nonnacookbooker

Yay and good for you:)

... I remember my school reunion well, and how nervous I was before I got there, but you know, like you, I was happy with my lot, and you just find out there are a lot of miserable people out there who really need to get a life.

You go there with your head held high, martini in hand and be proud of who you are.

Go SL ((((HUGS)))) xx

Jun 01, 05:43PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

snowleopard

thanks nonna!

Head held high and martini in hand is great advice! not just for school reunions either ;)

Jun 01, 11:47PM PDT | Respond to this 2 cheers

denises

The way you've described your life

sounds pretty impressive to me, so it damn well ought to impress the school reunion. You could chuck in descriptions of regular trips to Burgundy, spending a few days with your friend in Oslo, mention Lord Extremely Posh when you talk about your work. I’m sure you don’t have to be worried about it.

I’ve only bothered to go to one school reunion, but amazingly most of my class were there and we had a great time. When we got talking about who wasn’t there, there was only one person who people really didn’t want to see again. The other missing people were truly missed.

Jun 02, 02:19AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 5 cheers

snowleopard

thanks d

I hope it will be fun, and I suppose it’s only normal to be a little bit nervous.

I’m not setting out to boast about how great my life is – hope my entry didn’t come across like that – am more trying to work out in my head how I want to portray myself.

Glad to know that you enjoyed yours!

Jun 02, 03:45AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

denises

No, your entry

didn’t come across as though you were setting out to boast, just worried that everyone else would have so much more than you. It all depends what you define “more” as.

The most “successful” person at my school reunion was probably the car salesman, if you’re talking about money. He also looked as though he’d had a few too many client lunches and I wouldn’t have swapped places with him at all.

Jun 02, 11:44AM PDT | Respond to this 4 cheers

Solena D. had a bad dream

I hope you enjoy

your school reunion, as for me, I’d rather eat live frogs, thank you very much.

I went to school with tons of over-achievers who never realized that not everyone is the same in this world.
I can’t imagine sharing a meal with those high-powered, conservative, right winged, “urban” morons.

On the other hand, my bf quite enjoys his reunions and always has a great time (his was a much more relaxed bunch).

But anyway, I think nonna gave you the best possible advice! ;)

Jun 02, 02:20AM PDT | Respond to this 2 cheers

Zanna Campanula bookcart lady

wonderful entry, SL

what can be more worthwhile than living according to your values?

indeed, life’s not a competition, and anyway the criteria on which it tends to be judged are more than dodgy. and, absolutely, health is primary. at least two of the girls in my sister’s class are no longer with us; both of them died of “natural causes”.

hope you find lots of likeminded people and have a lovely time. failing that, you can always (a) stand like a tree, (2) see it as material for Nanowrimo 2009, or (3) leave.

Jun 02, 10:20AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 4 cheers

snowleopard

excellent advice there Z

I particularly like the idea of standing like a tree in the middle of things!

Already used the school reunion plot for the creative writing class last year, but there’s definite mileage in it. It should be an interesting evening at least and a change from the normal routine.

Jun 02, 11:17AM PDT | Respond to this 3 cheers

Frannie

so...did I miss it?

how’d the reunion go?

Jul 12, 05:50PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

snowleopard

thanks for asking

It did indeed happen, and I wrote about it here.

I subsequently signed up for FB, reconnected with a number of people from school, and am meeting D and M on Sunday, so I’m very glad I went!

Jul 13, 10:57AM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer


snowleopard has gotten 16 cheers on this entry.

 

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