into bright sunshine, leaving a manageable list of things to do tomorrow, and as I started walking through the park I felt the most almost-carefree I have for weeks and weeks and weeks.

I am starting to pull things together at work and can see some results for my efforts after months of treading water, and that’s pleasing. The new guys are nice and I feel less browbeaten even though they have the most demands – one bad experience with the last bunch really dented my self-esteem (and cooperativeness lol) but I’m getting back to where I need to be now. And after next week I’ll rarely have to answer the phone and photocopy invoices and book couriers… Gasp!

I can see the end of the tunnel with the teeth saga. Self-esteem again – I realised today that I have been really missing my smile! One more appointment, and I don’t need to take any more time off work which is strangely calming after all the disruption of the last couple of weeks.

B is working hard and is out of the flat a lot more these days, leaving me free to potter in an unaccountable sort of way! Not that I can’t potter when he’s here, but, well, I’m still getting used to the challenge of not making sure he’s ok every five minutes, so a little time to myself around the flat is really welcome while I’m still adjusting.

And – sad though it is – my break from choir has given me two absolutely free weekends coming up to do nothing but chill and have fun, which should hopefully get me back to kind of where I need to be.

I can’t believe how right it is to suddenly give myself an unlimited run of un-planned days, freedom from commitments and guilt over doing nothing. I totally failed to realise how much I was overdoing it, but now this feels so totally right.