I was always a size one. After three kids, I will still a size one. But, after coming down with a thyroid disease, my husband and my mother passing away unexpectedly at very young ages, I gained 93 pounds. It seems insurmountable. When my mom passed away last year from hereditary lung cancer I started taking care of myself. I lost 23 pounds in four months. I thought I was on my way to losing it. But, stress hit, changes happened and I gained back all but 6 pounds of what I lost. I still have 87 pounds to lose. My beautiful husband that I was married to for 24 years has been gone now for almost 5 years. I’m only 44. I never thought I would want to date anyone again but I am at a point where I do. My 6 year old keeps asking me for a daddy and I miss the companionship. I miss sharing and talking and enjoying life with someone. Problem is, ever since I gained all this weight NO GUYS EVEN LOOK at me anymore. I never had that problem before I gained weight. So, why don’t I have the energy to lose the weight? Why can’t I make a long term effort? Have do I find that energy and willpower again? I also worry about my health being 44 and our youngest is only 6. I have to be healthy for her. What’s it gonna take? How the heck do I get back to a place of caring?