My pounding head has now taken up residency on the toilet seat. I have now worn a path in the carpet between my bedroom and the bathroom. If there is anything liquid left in my body it is on its way up pretty soon I imagine, I have never felt like this in my entire life. It crept up on me suddenly, the flu like symptoms and in the early morning the vomiting. What the hell kind of virus is this? I need to see a doctor ASAP! I feel so lifeless and weak, my body is turning against me, what have I done? Once I gathered up enough energy to call my Mother and tell her about my ailments she jokes and asks if I’m pregnant? I was never one to really keep up with my cycle, but pregnancy is the furthest thing from my mind.”No, it’s the flu I think”, I say and she makes me an emergency appointment with my doctor. I immediately dread what is happening, my Moms question has put fear into me that has now replaced the pain of my quivering insides.

As I set in the white room with the encouraging posters, and health warnings I thought about my best friend sitting in the waiting room always by my side in times of dire emergency. I wonder what she was thinking? Probably this bitch done got her self knocked up and now we can’t take over the city like the real divas we are. I couldn’t believe that 4 ounzes of amber colored fluid in a clear plastic cup held the rights to my future. I was in alot of denial sitting there actually, I couldn’t be pregnant, Q used a condom..didn’t he? I couldn’t even remember the specifics of that night it was such a blur. He wouldn’t be foolish to not use protection with a girl he just met would he? Why didn’t I speak up ? It was too late for the questions, the remorse, the what-ifs, the damn I’m a stupid ho! Unknowingly those last few weeks something was growing inside of me, through all the liquor, smoking, and sex, I’m such a fool.