Today I called Continental Properties, which keeps sending us glitzy mailers advertising yuppie condominiums we will never buy. Seriously, there’s not a chance. It’s my firm intention never to move again.

The woman on the phone seemed so confused. You do not want our mail? People do not want our mail? But we send it to, you know, whole zip codes. How can this be? Whatever does this mean?

I wish zillions of us would pick up the phone when we got junk mail and politely inform the companies that we didn’t want it. It would swiftly become less lucrative for companies to send stuff to people who don’t request it. But there’s always so much to do, and you never really know how long it’ll take.