iv had fun and stuff, but when im alone all these bad thoughts keep coming to my head and its horrible. and its been over a year since it happened but its still just as bad as it was last year. iv been having flashbacks again too and its really been freaking me out. i really want to cry but i cant! and to top it all off, my friends are off doing stuff without me, iv been really ill this week, im up to my eyeballs in painkillers, and while all this is going round and round my head, i have to do a fucking job application form and tidy my room!

i feel like shit. nobody reply to this, i want to sit and wallow.