Today I decided to not sweat to death in the swelting heat with a shrug. Today I decided to try and go outside, meet up with my friend in a short sleeved top and not get paranoid about my arms.

Never had this paranoia before I got ill. Pills, operations and depression changed my body to the point that I did not recognise the person reflecting back at me; working on my health has improved my body but the mind is still stuck in ‘huge’ girl mode and thus, my arms have not felt the sun for six years – how stupid!

It took a lot of umming and ah-ing but eventually i got out the door. Oh yes, the unkind twin appeared, telling me I was nuts, that i did not look right and it was not the thing to do, cover up and cover up now! I told my twin to piss off, after a lot of arguing back and forth and a big moment when I actually stopped and contemplated taking the shrug out my bag (alas, I did carry it with me – the comfort blanket action)and putting it on; but i kept going and after a while I actually stop thinking about my arms. I had a great day,felt fine and the shrug never saw the light of day.