Just be true to yourself, what you are going through must be quite tricky at times.
It sounds like you have to hold back on just being who you feel you are? How long have you felt the need for change or has it always been there?
Sorry for all the questions but I am interested in other people and what they experance in life.
It has nothing to do with judging you, I respect the differance in people.
Do your family support you with wanting the gender ghange?
I wish you lots of love and support to become as feminine as you wish to be.
You are already strong to come this far.
Maybe you could start by painting your toe nails, and work your way up to your fingers.
Do you have to hide this life from the people around you?
I wish you well in all ways and many Blessing in compleating your list with kindness, Jillianne.