SH……Its moreover the problems encountered while searching for that “ultimate” experience.
1. More than one penis in bed is almost one too many. Toys are the preferred “added addition” to the mix…(more on that later)
2. As a man…you need to let HER pick out the partner and abide by her choice be it another woman….(reasons to follow.)...Don’t ever surprise her with a “Random” choice of yours…Keep in mind what you’re asking HER for and remember this is HER home and Her trust and love thats up for auction… she’s also putting the relationship at great risk…Trust is an absolute MUTHA FUCKER here…so don’t you DARE try to bring some…”Look who I met while I was out, Honey?” girl into the mix…You’ll wreck things faster than Chevy Chases movie career.
3. Prepare to be let down in more than a few ways. The thrill of “Thinking” about doing it surpasses the actual event. Who doesn’t like to be thought of as a “naughty girl or risky, bad bad boy”?...its like anal sex for a man….It really doesn’t feel ANY different than vaginal intercourse…its just the dirty thought of what you’re letting us do to you that makes it the “Holy Grail” for most men. So more than likely its not going to be the “Wild love-fest WWF grudge match” you see in porno’s and adult movies…(keep in mind most of those women are making BIG bucks to make it look so damn enjoyable.) Flip side of that is…It could also be one of the sexiest, most visceral things you ever do as a human being.
4. Someone needs to stay totally sober…things and emotions can get WAY out of hand and are only multiplied by drinking. Think about every bar fight you’ve ever seen when you were out with friends…now imagine that happening in your bedroom. Perceptions change so quickly with so little stimuli…something whispered…a moan the wrong octave…a slip of the tongue (literally)...all lead to doomed loves, friendships and hurt feelings that may NEVER be healed again. Tread carefully.
A little wine goes a long, long way for everyone. Wine actually is great at calming nerves and inhibitions.
4. Music needs to be involved as to block out alot of other stimulus…Its a cheap and easy way to get “Lost in the moment” Filter is a good choice..so is something like Enigma…limit your talking to each other. Quiet enjoyment sans constant directions and critiques are the call for the night. SHUT UP AND ENJOY IT.
5. Don’t you DARE film it or try to “get pictures” of it either. It only cheapens the entire event and takes so much away from the “fluidity” of it all…Remember this is an experience and that you’re making MEMORIES. IN YOUR HEAD
6. Back to the “One penis” issue…And I realize this sounds kinda biased because I’m a man…but trust me here…there is NOTHING….N O T H I N G…(got that) more frustrating and “MOOD” stopping than two slightly “Homophobic” guys trying to make love to one woman and yet…trying everything in their power to avoid touching the other guy…Guys are stupid as hell like that….Think of it like a nude game of Twister with a leper and a burn victim…with you being the “game board”....almost fucking IMPOSSIBLE…Now think about how you’re going to feel as a woman…while these two assjacks try to make your wildest dream come true…I’m laughing my ass off right this minute as I type about it thinking back to a few times…Holy bejebus.
Besides…with all the wonderful toys for her out there…a second penis is so easy to “invite” in the mix…Toys don’t get jealous or try too hard…never quite on you and they hit the right spots when they’re called on to.
So bottom line….nix the actual extra cock and go the B.O.B. route. Besides women are WAY better kissers. Think about that for a second. Like an old girlfriend once said…”A determined Woman can eat pussy almost better than a man.”...and besides…with one less man in the mix…thats one less chance of getting scraped by stubble or ‘razor burn”...which we all KNOW…is a mood killer.
7. Body fluids (his) should only be directed at the actual woman in his life…not the newest member of the family. Theres a certain “accountability” and ownership of it all. A man who is seriously involved with a woman should NEVER share that with ANY OTHER WOMAN….GUYS…write this down in STONE and make it your mantra. Sharing that crosses some serious lines between couples…
8. Once things have come to a stopping point for the night…The extra member needs to shower…get dressed and leave…No IF’S and’s or BUTT’s…This isn’t freaking “Three’s Company” dammit…it was a wonderful event that had a beginning, a middle and yes..an end…so adhere to the “leave when its all over ” rule if you’re the 3rd wheel…There may be other nights if this one worked out ok.
9. When a new woman is introduced to the mix…don’t ever expect to be left alone in a room with her…ever again….TRUST is again the culprit here…You fuck up her trust in you with the situation…kiss it all goodbye. Hearts and emotions are SOB’s for most of us so I wouldn’t even THINK about attempting this unless you could walk into a room with 20 naked NHL guys or20 nude NFL cheerleaders and your wife/girlfriend/Boyfriend/man/husband/whatever
says nothings going on./...and you believe them…hands down.
10. STDs/AIDS/PMS…nuff said. You don’t want to make it a “life changing experience” the wrong way. Why endure a lifetime of crap and health declines for one night of glory? Is it really worth it?
11. Forget all about the entire event and all of the above and take the time to really make love to each other. A hot bath…a massage…some laughs and giggles..some wine…paint her toenails for her…Give him that BJ he’s dreamed of getting…Tie her up….try getting lucky at that “boring ” party..really try to make his/her dreams come true in bed…and don’t be shy about using all the wonderful tools and advice to make that happen for him/her. Things are so different with your eyes closed and your mind open. True Love is the ultimate “threesome”
Good luck
