To begin with your last question, no I don’t mind you messing with my head. In fact I appreciate it because it gives me the opportunity to think the matter over – and that can never be wrong. :)

I thought about my feelings and my motivation many times and wouldn’t call my feeling “anger”. It’s more that I recently noticed that some parts of my life slowly get out of hand and that I need to do something before it’s all slipping away.

So currently I feel neither anger nor sadness. It’s a bit of disappointment mixed with decidedness. But of course I have no idea if it will stay that way. Altogether it’s four people on my list – so I’m half done… Two this year and two in 2006 (just because I have no chance to talk to them in the few remaining days).

Surely it’s sad (though I don’t feel it yet) because I know some of them since childhood or school. But after realizing for how long this had bothered me I had to take some steps.

For me a real friend is someone who is willing to listen before talking and sometimes also to support before asking. It’s not that I need much help to get along with life. But everyone has situations where a helping hand is appreciated. And where friends should understand eachother without many words.

After many years even I realized (yup, sometimes I’m pretty naïve) that these four people are only available when they want to. Simply ignoring them wasn’t an option for me…it bothers me when things (and situations) are unfinished. In the past I tried several times to change things for the better but each time this only lasted for a few weeks.

I’m fed up with wasting time (and sometimes money too) on people who neither appreciate nor remember it. So, as you said, burning “all those old, tired bridges” was twice-overdue. Fortunately I have “real friends” – and now even more time for them… ;)

Thank you for your kind words! I hope to steer my ship in the right direction… :)