I’ve seen the folks a few times recently. To talk about the car, show them the car and for mom’s 77th birthday. My dad is feeling a little better now that he’s found a good med for the morphine side effect that has been the biggest problem. He said that he would go off the blood thinners if he knew that a clot would go directly to his lung or brain and kill him, but he doesn’t want to chance a debilitating but not fatal stroke that would be stressful for my mom. I think that in time he’ll chance even that. He really doesn’t see the point in being alive anymore. He loves us, but he’s tired and ready to go. He doesn’t yet have the look of someone who is close to death.

Mom is doing pretty well. She was talking about how hard it will be to give up her car keys and accept help from my sister and me. Even as she said she hopes she can handle it gracefully, she was tightening her jaw and narrowing her eyes. My sister and I looked at each other in silent agreement. There’s no way in hell she’s going to handle it gracefully. She will do what she’s done for 77 years: go along if she has to, saying the right things, while anger streams from her pores like poisonous fog. She’s a good woman, but she’s also a control freak who thinks there is one right way to do things and that’s her way. As much as my mom and sister are alike, I think my sister’s temper and impatience may make dealing with mom more problematic for her. Who knows? We’ll deal with whatever happens as it happens.