Curlychaos SoapDragon is sending lots of love and support to Wren

have a cathartic whinge from time to time
I love living in a central part of Oslo 3 months ago

with cinemas, cafe’s, concert halls and lots of other great things the city has to offer within walking distance.
But I am starting to miss living closer to the forest, so it would be easier to walk Cora in places with fewer people and fewer dogs. It can really be a challenge walking her around here.

Today on our walk, one dog came running towards us, a big and energetic young dog. The owner asked if he could play with Cora, and I said she’s very scared of other dogs, so I think it would be too much for her. And he said “oh, but my dog is so well socialized, he loves to play!” Well, that’s hardly the point now, is it! But he kept letting his dog run around Cora, who was stressed from being on leash, so in the end I gave up and let her off leash. Then another dog joined, there was a lot of running around, which makes Cora start barking hysterically. It’s just who she is, a combination of being very scared and getting excited by all the running. I am working on it, but the work with her involves precicely keeping other dogs at a distance so that she feels safe. Which is impossible around here.
Then both dogowners started lecturing me about how I should teach Cora not to bark, that I should really tell her off and be very firm and harsh with her every time. Being harsh with a dog that is already scared is simply not the solution, so I explained that that doesn’t work with this dog and this situation. And they both went “Well, you would have to really work with her of course”. What?? They are both new dog owners with dogs under one year old, and they are being condescending about me not spending enough time training Cora?
At that point, one of the dogs was chewing away on the other dog owners shoe, and his owner was completely helpless and unable to get his dog to let the shoe go. So he gave up and just sat there. If your dog steals things from people in the park and destroys them, and you can do nothing about it but sit there saying, “Ops, I can’t help it if he tears your shoe apart, he thinks the shoe is his now, sorry about that”, you really, really shouldn’t be lecturing other dog owners about how to train their dogs. OMG.

At that point, I put Cora on a leash and left. Only to meet parents with a three year old a few meters up the street. The kid yelled “Oh, nice doggie!” and ran towards us. Cora is no danger in any way to anyone, but she can get scared and bark if kids run straight up to her like that, which would result in a screaming kid and angry parents. So I pulled her along, out of the street, clearly signaling to the parents that I don’t want my dog to play with your kid. They just gave me “isn’t our kid cute”-smiles and kept letting him run towards us. So I had to tell them to get their kid, explaining that my dog isn’t good with children. At which point they of course gave me a “Oh, terrible woman with murder wolf”-look and ran hysterically to get him.
But what on earth posesses parents to let their kids run freely up to big dogs they know nothing about, when the dog owner is clearly trying to get away from them? Do they want dogs to bite their kids? Really, it’s absurd. I do let Cora say hello to nice, calm, well-behaved children, she is good with them. But kids who are running directly towards her, not giving her time and room to find out that they are not threatening, that is scary to a dog. Three year-olds cannot understand that, and I can’t do any more than keep my dog on a leash and try to move out of the way, it’s really all up to the parents. It’s not the first time this happens, I really don’t understand what goes through these people’s minds! Argh!

Aug 23, 04:03AM PDT | 7 cheers


Comments:

snowleopard

that is totally crazy

I can’t believe these people! You’re Cora’s owner, you’ve had her for a long time and you know what’s best for her, and nobody has the right to start lecturing you about how you should train her, even if they could control their own dogs which they clearly couldn’t.

And as for the little kid, bloody hell, that was all you needed! Sweet that the kid likes animals, but its parents should have known better, when you were indicating that this was not what Cora needed right now. What a nightmare.

Sympathy grolw to you and your lovely not-in-the-least-bit-murderous wolf :)

Aug 23, 04:48AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

Curlychaos SoapDragon is sending lots of love and support to Wren

Thank you

for the sympathy grolw!
Argh, it really is frustrating! It’s quite unbelieveable how many dog owners think that they have the right to lecture others about how to train their dogs. I got it all the time with Agatha, people kept telling me how they managed to teach their dog to be home alone by leaving it for just a few minutes at a time at first, constantly insinuating that I hadn’t properly trained Agatha the way they had trained their dog. Obviously, the difference was simply that their dog didn’t have separation anxiety, Agatha does. Teaching a dog with no sign of separation anxiety to be home alone really doesn’t prove that you’re an excellent dog trainer, or even a reasonably good one, it just proves that dogs have an incredible ability to adapt to different situations. Interrestingly, the people most eager to lecture others are the new dog owners with very young dogs. They’ve been to one obedience class and think they have it all figured out, which is ridiculous.

The children thing really is a huge frustration. Mostly because it could have been so very easy. All the parents would have to do, is to take their kid by the hand, say “Yes, it is a nice doggie, let’s ask the owner if you can say hello to the dog”, and then, if the owner says yes, make sure that the child acts calmly and says hello nicely. That way, the child would be able to enjoy interacting with dogs, the dog would be fine with it, and the kid would learn how to act around dogs without risking dogbites. But no. An incredible number of parents seem to think that dogs find children cute and automatically loves playing with them. It shouldn’t really take that much intelligence to figure out that dogs have teeth and can bite, but for some reason, that fact isn’t obvious to parents. Argh!

Aug 23, 05:13AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 2 cheers

Cloudberry is a highly skilled migrant.

kids

You’re right. It’s about training the parents, though, isn’t it, so they can train the kids in turn? And of course it isn’t your job to do that.

Ah well, what are you going to do? If only people were as smart as dogs ;-)

Aug 23, 06:04AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

Curlychaos SoapDragon is sending lots of love and support to Wren

It is

about educating the parents, definitely. And I don’t expect parents in general to know all about how to interact with dogs. For instance, I wish people would stop petting dogs on top of the dogs head, that is very challenging for dogs to deal with, it’s a seriously dominant thing to do in dog-language. Very confident dogs like Agatha simply learn to accept that that is what humans do, humans are strange. Insecure dogs like Cora however, find that very uncomfortable. But most people don’t know that, so I keep explaining it to people, which is just the way it is.

But letting a small child run straight up to a strange dog, with no warning and without asking the owner if the dog is ok with playing with kids it doesn’t know? It’s a safety issue for their own kid, which is what makes this seem so strange to me. If I had children, I wouldn’t even let my own dog and kid play freely together with no supervision and rules of behaviour, there’s always a chance of misunderstandings that makes to dog feel threatened. Dogs and children can have so much fun together, but they do need to learn how to play safely.
Sigh. I wish they would simply ask, some parents and kids do that, and I think most dog owners are more than willing to explain to children how to say hello to dogs in a nice way, provided they feel confident their dog can deal with it. But it becomes quite impossible when they don’t ask.

Aug 23, 07:42AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 3 cheers

brightthunder misses everyone, and is thankful for their prayers.

A very dear

friend of mine emigrated to another country. Several years later she and her husband returned for their firts visit home.
They wanted to come see us…but I could hear lots of kids screaming in the background. They had 3 children….a six month baby, a wild 2 year old, and a 4 year old.
I explained I’d love to see them, but let’s meet elsewhere because I had a few dogs, who were not used to children at all. So, that was agreed.
However, a few hours later the doorbell rang, and there they were shouting Surprise.
So the dogs now had 5 strangers in their house, 2 of them pretty wild toddlers with no idea how to act around dogs, and a little baby.
It was a frantic afternoon, the toddlers pulled the dogs ears, stood on their paws, and the parents thought this was cute.
I had a terrible time trying to watch no one came to grief, and still can hardly believe my dogs put up with so much without snapping.

In the end someone was injured:(
The baby’s father was playing at throwing her up in the air and catching her again. The baby was giggilling with delight….but a deep onimus rumble was starting in my largest dog. I warned the father again and again to stop. My dog thought he was hurting the baby.
In the end my dog attackd the father, and took quite a bite from his arm.
The visit was a disaster, and never repeated. But those parents were warned in advance, yet still came. They let their children run wild, and would take no advice on how to behave around unknown dogs.

I remain sad that the father was bitten, but he could hear the dog growl as loudly as I could, and carried on regardless. I am glad it wasnt any of the children that were bitten, but with their behaviour it could easily have been….then my dog could have faced being put down. No surprise the friendship didn’t last…I think I would have had a nervous breakdown if they had came back.
Parents need to understand that many owners take on abused and aboandoned dogs as pets. And with the best training and supervision in the world, formerly abused animals can be unpredictable, especially when surrounded with screaming children:(

Aug 23, 08:03AM PDT | Respond to this

Cloudberry is a highly skilled migrant.

did you ever think

of writing a column on dog behavior for your paper?

I’ve learned so much from reading about your adventures with the CurlyGirls!

Aug 23, 09:31AM PDT | Respond to this 2 cheers


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