AnnieDee is an Extroverted Tree Hugging Money Manager
This has got to be a priority. I really don’t want to be alone any longer. It’s frustrating to reach for a goal like this, though, as I can’t just make it happen with sheer will power. I’m already trying the Internet dating routine and it’s not working very well. Any ideas and advice are welcome.
Des is slowly regaining her sanity (unfortunately?)
...it’s likely to show up where you least expect it. My only advice would be to make sure you’re involved in activities where you have the opportunity to meet and interact with new people. A hobby perhaps, or some kind of volunteer thing, even if it’s only once a month?
I know someone as wonderful as you will find true love again. :)
Kim N lotions and crockpot and spider capo, Oh my!
I don’t have any advice except what you’re already doing… keep an open heart and mind. :)
Merry Christmas and best wishes for a true love filled New Year. :)
AnnieDee is an Extroverted Tree Hugging Money Manager
Des and Kim, I appreciate the kind thoughts. I am trying to be involved in things that interest me, but it seems that those things attract women more than men. And I have limited time due to that pesky full-time job that is needed pay the mortgage and buy dog food.
I had a thought the other day about how my friends on 43T could help me with this goal. You could help me write my personal ad! One of the questions is always “how do your friends describe you?” And, although you don’t know me in real life, I think you probably know me better than many people who do know me in “real life”. What’s so much more real about it, anyway? Isn’t knowing someone’s goals – their aspirations, hopes, dreams, and feelings – more real than the trite stuff many talk about in “real life”?
Hope you both are having a wonderful day today. And I wish you a New Year filled with love and adventure.
Des is slowly regaining her sanity (unfortunately?)
My opinion is that you should keep personal ads as basic as possible when describing yourself. Pick a few things that you feel are your best qualities, and maybe one other thing that makes you unique and therefore more memorable. Also include a few criteria for your potential date, especially any deal-breakers you might have (for instance, location, smoking, or anything you feel strongly about). It seems to me that if you get too specific it really narrows the field, and the truth is, for the right person we can learn to make allowances for less-than-ideal traits, if necessary.
I’d list a couple of hobbies, but not too many. It’s nice to have a few things in common, but I think one of the fun things about new relationships is sharing each other’s interests and learning new things.
In terms of specific words to describe you – I checked your 43People tags, and I wholeheartedly agree with them. You can say your friends describe you as:
...and the list goes on. You’re well on your way!
AnnieDee is an Extroverted Tree Hugging Money Manager
It was so kind of you to take the time to give me this advice and to say such nice things. Actually, I did use my 43Peeps tags in my personal description, and I took most of your other advice, too. I have to admit that I do get some responses, but not from anyone that I’d even want to meet for coffee. For a while I thought that my “problem” was my age, but I know someone 7 years older than me and she gets lots of dates from the Internet. Maybe I don’t have the right hobbies. Her’s is golf and I’m more interested in gardening (organically), composting, and native plants. Not only do I think that golf is a silly game, even the highly manicured, chemicalized grass on the golf course offends me. Sorry, didn’t mean to get off on such a tangent. I’ll keep trying to smile and keep an open heart and mind.
RuthG raises a toast for a fruitful 2010!
I agree on golf.)
I met the guy who would become my husband just a few years ago as I ventured into Colombia human rights work because of a sense of calling. It’s a field that attracts more women than men, too-but remember, you only need ONE guy! I wasn’t expecting to find love in this milieu; sometimes I call him “my bonus.” :)
Keeping feelers out on a good Internet site can be worthwhile (it has worked for a couple of my friends). But basically, you’re doing the right thing by staying awake in your own life, being open & alive. Here’s hoping for an excellent bonus for you!!
AnnieDee is an Extroverted Tree Hugging Money Manager
What a great concept! Thanks for the encouragement, Ruth. I’ve always been able to have the “it just takes one” attitude when I was looking for a job. I never let unemployment numbers or such discourage me. You’re right; I need to have the same approach to finding the right man. I know he’s out there and will be happy to find me, too.
That’s a wonderful story about meeting your husband doing such meaningful work. That’s the way life should happen. And he’s a lucky guy to have found you.
that one of the keys for internet dating, especially for women, is to have fun with it. Don’t set standards too high, because you’re likely to weed out some nice guys who you really might have liked. Also, don’t assume the date is going to be your soulmate, because the disappointment will likely be great.
Mind you, I just heard this on NPR one day. It makes some sense (to me).
My opinion is that certain types of people are harder to run into (e.g. less outgoing people, etc). They’re out there, but where are you going to meet, at a club? When you do meet him, however, you’ll click.
Listen for the click.
AnnieDee is an Extroverted Tree Hugging Money Manager
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It’s been a year since I said that I had to try harder, but I haven’t done anything. Why? Have I given up? I really don’t know unless it’s that if I don’t try so hard, it isn’t so disappointing when nothing happens.
Your advice about having fun sounds so logical, but I don’t think that dating is fun. I hate it. My fantasy is that I become friends with a wonderful eligible man and a relationship develops from there. Guess I just want magic. Not very realistic, huh?
Thanks for the support on this. I really do appreciate it. And maybe it will get me thinking about it in a better light. Oh, and I will remember to listen for the click. Great advice on that.
been reading the few comments to this…
it seems to me that when women try internet dating sites, they wait for the men to reply…
i think you could try to be more frontal, and be the one to take the chances… go to the guys’ profiles, talk to them, be the one to make the first move.
i met my boyfriend at work, and in my personal post about this, we are quite opposite in appearance and personality… but i think that is why we click so well.
for going to places to meet people… try things that you don’t have a huge interest in now… but wouldn’t mind your boyfriend/future husband having.
i do a lot of things with my boyfriend, that i personally would not go to…
read up a little on “man hobbies”... hee hee and don’t be afraid to try new things.
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OhsweetJesus2007 wants to lose weight / get in shape
be less tired
Do something creative every day
Go to a rave
ride a motorcycle
Believe in myself
be ok with being alone
Give blood
get into grad school
lose 60 pounds
write 500 words a day
Be more organised
star in a movie
Be a better vegetarian
Go on the Atkins diet.
to test myself on summer job
see the world
talk to more people
Zanna Campanula wants to Stop wasting time before time wastes me
upload my photos to Flickr
attend a surprise party in my honor
sparklebaby wants to stop being a people pleaser
Pass my GCSEs
travel to Finland
figure out what i want to be when i grow up
Volunteer
learn esperanto
