as I feel like I have some emotional street cleaning I want to do. It has been an interesting year where the majority of time I’ve been in some kind of dating situation with someone, and finally I am not. I really want to look at things, take a break, get some rest, deal with some old issues. And also, and I don’t know if I can blame myself for it, but want to distance myself from dating because it has been so baffling to me. I wonder why it’s so difficult. Or has been difficult up until now. And the last situation was very baffling. I’d never been deceived before, at least to this extent; literally SNOWED. So, what can you do? I am grateful that it didn’t progress beyond the realm of conversations over dinner and books shared. I am thankful that I got the information I needed to know (that he is married) long before it could’ve been a really, really bad thing to know. I regret the time I spent daydreaming about him, and am keeping his wife in my prayers. I’m amazed that it happened, happened to ME, and glad that I was able to walk away (and that I’m not married to a person like that, and not able to walk away without incurring big expenses).

So, I’m baffled at myself that I was lied to by someone, and that, for the most part, I had no CLUE! So, the moral of this is that there is no moral, or rather, if you meet someone who lies to you and you believe them, it’s not your fault. You might feel like a fool, but you’re not, and it’s really unfortunate for the person who told the lie as they sabotage every relationship they have by being dishonest. And this was someone who I met in a public place (my work) and he and I even knew some people in common, so it wasn’t an online person that I met out of nowhere where it would be easy to create a different identity.

On the up side, I also learned that I liked making a slow go of it, and doing things like reading a book together with someone. So, it would be nice to do this in the future with a completely single, entirely unmarried guy sometime.