Well, at least I know I am in grief; here’s the thing; when I divorced, my kids were given to their father who is a trip but he’s trying here; then, just as I was dealing with that, a friend got married(got over that), then I met someone who I liked a lot, but I wasn’t sure about his feelings towards me or what he felt about me and though we decided to hook up and go out, we never did and he was killed just this past March; I never got to find out what he felt about me or anything and I’m still grieving that because he was buried within three days of them finding his body;It hurt me so that I withdrew from some classes(it will come and haunt me later) then, I got a job yet though my body got me there every day, my mind was not totally focused on it and after the training and working a day, I was fired(in a nice way mind you but fired nonetheless) unfortunately that was also the same day my pastor who was struggling with cancer died peacefully in his sleep; depressing me more; I must have went to at least ten plus funerals; The next to last funeral I went to I was coming home from it and there were all these police cars down there, and when I got to it, I find out a fire broke out, and a little 2 year old boy trying to escape hid in the closet and died; Ohh, that hurt me even more. Then I couldn’t get back in school due to the withdrawals, and on and on; but I realize that I need to let this stuff go; Yes, folks die and it hurt like hell, yes you deal with two hurting things within one day like I have; yes, you pay some hard costs when you feel your down and out, but I am tired and I want to feel a whole lot better about who I am as a person and that is what I’m going to do in 2006; feel better about me!!!