sigh.

he’ll be in Tokyo until whatever project he’s doing there is finished.

sigh.

i know it’s not his fault or his choice, but god this sucks. but then again, i’m starting grad school at the end of this month and, even if he were here, i’d probably only get to hang out with him once or twice a month anyway.

also, i managed to do a Very Scary Thing. i told him, in Japanese, exactly what i had meant by “I like you,” meaning that i wanted to pursue a friendship with him and see if something can develop from that naturally; not that i necessarily expected some heavy thing from him immediately. then i asked him if hanging out would be alright when he’s back from his Tokyo project, and he said yes.

but that he doesn’t know exactly when that will be… (_‘)

and if the same damn thing happens again like all the others (i.e. he fucks off to some distant city and finds someone better/easier to be with/in essence, Japanese), this time i think i really might snap.