I am shy, introverted and not very social. I wish to improve on these skills. I am very good professionally, but socially I feel inadequate. I feel that the main problem I have is communicating with people. I am comfortable talking to only certain types of people, I am not sure how to define those people but in general I have noticedthat they are people who like talking to me and with whom I find something common. I am not very good at initiating conversation with new people. I am always fishing in my mind about topics. I dont feel the natural flow of topics that other talkative people do. Indeed they amaze me as they jump from one thing to another and I find myself standing there wondering how they are able to do that.
I think I care too much about what people think. I am sensitive to rejection. I only want to say perfect things. I dont want to utter anything wrong out of my mouth that will make me look stupid. I think this puts too much pressure on me. Sometimes I dont say silly things that I want to, even though they may be funny. I now realize that this is not a realistic way to talk to people. Indeed people who talk a lot dont always talk about interesting stuff. I dont wish to babble though but I certainly need to say more than I do at the moment.
In order to improve my skills of talking I have come up with a plan. I think the only way to do this is to practice and not be disappointed by failures. I need to initiate conversation with new people and see how it works out. Also the more people you talk to, the more topics you will have when you talk to the next person. Isnt that what most people do? I call it Transference of topics from people to people. It should become a never ending stream of things to talk. However I understand this will be difficult in the beginning as I begin to increase the number of people I will talk to slowly. I will try to talk about anything I can think of, of course firstly starting with something common or general. I will not care about what they think about me or what opinion they make of me. I should understand that I will not be able to talk to everyone as all personalities dont click. However you cannot find that out until you talk to someone. I will try to keep reservations aside and talk to those people as much as I can. This will be difficult and i will constantly have to come up with something to talk about. I will limit the conversation to 30 minutes with each new person. I will try to talk to one new colleague ( I have many in my work setting that I havent talked openly to) every week. I will try to ignore the feelings of being scrutinized. I will try to think of this as practice and learning, and not as making an impression on someone. I will take it as a lesson improving communication. I will post my results at the end of this month. Wish me luck everyone! If anyone is willing to take on this effort with me, they can post here as well. Mutual encouragement can be helpful. Onward with the battle against shyness!