I told A the other day that I’ve had this “vision” of working in a small office in Brooklyn assisting with a small local magazine. I think that is what I wanted back in say 1995. Perhaps what I had in mind was New York Spirit. I remember going on an interview for a small little radio station somewhere.

Wow. The world was wide open to me back then and my lack of a speciality—well one that I liked, didn’t allow me to enjoy it.

Yesterday after I dropped off my son I picked up a healthmagazine. The last one on the rack at the newstand where the ice cream place used to be. And I proceded to dissect it and then read it. Then I spent the night going through the Wooden Horse archives looking for Af Am publications that launched between 2000-2007 and I also read quite a bit from Mr. Magazine’s archives as well.

My conclusion is that I was trained to be a local newspaper reporter, not a magazine columnist. I trained to do that on my own. And there is a difference. Magazines are niche publications slanted for a particular audience. There is no objectivity or even the semblence of one. That is a magazine. A women’s interest magazine is something different than a newspaper.

I did a reading for “teach journalism” and pulled “The Devil” The same reading for TC. The message is clear. Stick with the Devil you know. Especially if you have confidence issues. Which I didn’t realy know I had in 1992, I mean I KNEW I had them but I didn’t realize that sticking to what I was trained to do was better than launching out into the big unknown. In a sense I’m glad I did it. I’ve proved a few things. One I’m no coward and Two, I’m also nobody’s fool. I’ve lived a full life.