Saturnsglow Is getting in the Holiday Mood.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the balance of Love and the Voice.
In life, I have tended to place Love above everything else. In the past, I have stood on a hill and opened myself up to anything a person wanted to throw at me…whether it be roses or tomatoes. Willingly I took in whatever was presented to me…all in the name of Love.
But then, something happened. My throat began to tighten. My thyroid wasn’t quite right. My voice felt like a blanket of coal coated it in heavy layers. I was suppressing feelings of mistreatment. My acquiescence to some things could have been out of love, but somewhere I had gone wrong. How can this be when I have loved freely, given compassion, and resisted feeling ill-will towards anyone?
Then, a dear friend insisted that I stand up for myself and say my true feelings, even though it would hurt someone else. The friend was forceful, even overstepping in insistence. And so, tired of hearing it all, I penned a blunt response to my subject in less than a minute’s time. I didn’t consider love in the equation, but just went with my instincts. I just penned my thoughts and sent them on. A few hours later I felt awful…there was wretched pain that I felt upon inflicting pain on someone else that lasted for hours.
But then, something strange happened. The next day, my mind felt a little clearer. My throat started relaxing just a little. I started accepting my own feelings as worthy and authentic. Breathing became slightly easier. And I realized that my friend had done me a great favor in girding me up with strength and pushing me past limits that I should have achieved long ago.
Only by doing what we fear, will we grow. I needed a push to begin to use my voice and not silence myself anymore in the name of Love. I realized that even though my words may hurt someone, that sometimes this is necessary to help the other person as much as myself. And just because I deliver hurtful words; still, I don’t have to feel any disdain for the other person.
I want to work on aiming my stronger words at the behavior of a person, not the person her or hisself as I learn this new path.
The gem turquoise symbolizes the strength of the voice. The gem rose quartz symbolizes healing and love. I realize that I can embrace both these qualities in my life, giving balance to each—not dominance to one over the other.
Another friend, Slayne, who is here on 43, sent me a message just before my birthday. She told me to run water over a candle, dry the clean candle off, and then light it. She said to hold the lit candle in my dominant hand and state my intent, or wish, and let the candle remain somewhere until it burned all the way down.
I did just this on my birthday. I also surrounded the candle with turquoise and rose quartz, and a shiny crystal…as a reminder to balance Love with my Voice. What a beautiful gift this friend gave me. And, I am reminded how we all can make a difference in each others lives with just a little effort. My friends really helped me and so I am writing this just in case I can help anyone else.
